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Zeppelin On the Brain :

See Also Quantum_Particles_Can_Do_Anything

See Also Real Physics

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Letter to Herr Comstock :

The Baron von Zeppelin hereby demands that you stop using the word 'Zeppelin' in reference to your ungainly and poorly designed flying vehicles. The Zeppelin company's fine products are the result of careful and dedicated design and superior German knowhow, and their proud name cannot IN ANY WAY be allowed to refer to your cobbled together monstrocities.

Cease and Desist or further strong action will be applied to you.




Prettybutdumb

Combining wings with the Zeppelin shape - does not really work so well in real life. Lift isn't needed, flap surfaces in the middle of the airframe are ineffective (no leverage), a simple strut is good enough for holding the engines, but are good source of extra unwanted drag. Oversized cabin structure is too large for gas lift alone - thus Quantumz employed/required - so it ALL could have a simpler/more-compact/ more-utilitarian shape than this design pattern. People at the start didn't fly, so having a 'trusted' look made no sense to retain it. But Then - Logic would probably be pointless to wonder how early the 'float' stuff was made possible for smaller (Less-city-sized) things - the whole technical abilities travesty makes it all a fools errand. Early Assets they didn't want to pay for again to make the game is a likely reason for this nonsense.


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Ludicrous

OMG OMG THEY HAVE ZEPPELINS IN THE GAME !!!! ITS SO COOL !!!!!!






ZEPPELIN ON THE BRAIN


WHY does it have to look like a "Zeppelin" ??

BTW "Zeppelin" is a BRAND NAME of a particular manufacturing company in Germany (most of these type of craft WERENT 'Zeppelins'.

So its basically a Buzzword (like "Quantum Physics"/ "Particles") to a majority of Players who really just want to 'Shoot and Blow up Things'. Such half-assed technical nonsense content doesn't bode well for a game allegedly touting/Hyping itself as "exposing Social Ills of another Era". (The F$%^ked up Religion weirdness was another stupid/ignorant/contrived aspect -- if they (the writers) were attempting to portray relevancy to 'American' anything ... THEN ITS DEFINITELY A FAIL
Failcat
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These kind of vehicles are actually called "Lighter-Than-Air Ships" and "Dirigibles" (the real ones not the bastardized quantum floaty shit ones).

"First Lady 1.0 was filled with Hydrogen" and did a 'Hindenburg' (story reference) via a Vox attack ??

  • if so, that's a reference to what preceding REAL Lighter-Than-Air Ships IN COLUMBIA were used earlier had to be technically (except in Fantasyland).

If so that "Aerodrome" seen wouldn't have fit a real Airship (this is what happens when you have writers who don't cross reference game story details).

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Technological Gap Making 'Zeppelins' :

Super lightweight alloys used for 'Zeppelins' (needed for early pre "Quantum Floaty Shit(tm)" airships they mention in the Infinite BS game --- even wood is too heavy for Lighter-Than-Air ships of any real size/capacity/capability). A rigid light-alloy skeleton is needed for such a vehicle. Duralumin (Aluminium-95%, Copper-4%, Magnesium-0.5%, Manganese-0.5%) was used for REAL Zeppelins.

So yet one more material thing that Fink/whoever would have to invent/obtain/produce to make happen in the game's story (How many hundreds of other story/plot things so far are like that ??? -- again far simpler if they had the Columbians/Comstock steal all that crap through "Tears" instead of pretend BS of they made it all themselves).

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MightAsWellHad

Ideas/developments from the Future (stolen via Tears) unfortunately stopped at some of the most ungainly and clumsy aircraft ever built (and before their furthest development just before they were completely superseded by airplanes).

Flash Gordon Futurism (minus the sparkely exhaust) would have been a far better advancement on the game's contraptions, which appear to have been designed by a committee of lobotomized idiots.





Graffy


Afewairshippies


Airshipconstruction


ComplicatedThing


LighthouseRocketNot


Real1912


Akron


Macon1931


Zeppy


Thingee1910

Except THIS is an airplane idea 1910



GrafZep


Airshipparking


Airship-copiedzeppelin


Shenandoah27


Shenandoah design

Good details of what made a proper airship design.



USS-Shenadoah1923

Americas first built, patterned on a crashed WW1 Zeppelin design. First airship to use helium.



Buildingazeppelin

Airships weren't things you 'just built'



Welcome

inside of passenger cabin on real airship



InsideDirigibleHanger

real size of an airship is apparent



Realzeppy

real zeppelin



Realality

real zeppelin hangar



MenacesColumbia

A bit of fun - AN IMPROVEMENT !!!!



ButHisHeartWasHardened


StreamlineGood

ALMOST A Zeppelin



NotDesignedByStupidPeople

real zeppelin designing



Realality

real zeppelin hangar



Hindenbergnose

Complexity Of The Real


^^^ Its not like there werent 1000 good photographs and diagrams to show them what REAL airships are SUPPOSED to Look Like !!!


Was it all the result of having early ideas shown in Trailers which REQUIRED continuation of an idea that was no longer logical ??? (the Trailers locked-in certain 'images' they couldn't throw out, but often then minimized from being of any importance : ie- interactions with Songbird replaced with canned cutscenes, or Elizabeth's UNIQUE Tears (player choice) having originally been planned as a much bigger part of the game experience. )


"THEY LOOKED THAT WAY BECAUSE IT WAS WHAT PEOPLE KNEW/UNDERSTOOD AND TRUSTED ???? (Oh really ??? Was that the logic ??? Maybe the writers were mistakenly thinking about the 1930s, when Lighter-Than-Air Ships were still giving Heavier-Than-Air-Ships (Airplanes) some serious competition -- when they had actually matured far enough to be useful) ??


(Why didn't the 'Barges' also look like Zeppelins if it was a matter of people being scared of something new ?)


Zeppelins/Lighter-than-Air ships were well know for their LACK of carrying capacity. When they were improved and actually used for commercial purposes, they were limited to Elite passengers, and mail, and mostly just flown for PRESTIGE -- as their reason for existing).


Since 'Zeppelins' were an anachronism for 1893, and there (apparently) was this "'Tear' Looking into the Future" idea to explain all those other things in Columbia, then WHY NOT look far enuf to get something better for the Floaty vehicle stuff in Columbia ????

  • With a 'Quantum BS' floating mechanism you needed no AIRBAG/FLOTATION CELLS any longer
  • That Big (vestigial) airbag actually makes moving the craft more inefficient and bothersomely complex and impractically oversized/costly and poor/unwieldy aerodynamically
  • Wings ? Who needs wings if you have "Floaty Shit(tm)" to keep the vehicle in the air (artistic license could have justified something better looking, then)
  • Wooden interiors ? How 19th century ...

SO these 'Zeppelins' were the primary transportation used to supply Columbia ??? (I laugh at THAT idea)

That Unneeded large vehicle size does make them a Nice Big Fat Target for anyone on the ground to shoot at, No ? Covert operations is not a term that can be applied to these things (and certainly not for routine activity of obtaining/delivering hundreds of tons of supplies to Columbia every week).

A TINY little capacity to supply a BIG city ? Oops. BUT Then the City sustenance was really magic "Manna" which flowed out of the Great Prophet's Ass ?? Stealing through 'Tears' MIGHT have been a good (and interesting) explanation to solve this issue, and many other things ((But I guess Kenny&Co were more busy perfecting the way the Skyhook weapon bloodily tore a NPC's head off ... ))




Pcc

Hell, THIS looked more like A Zeppelin than those bizarre in-game things.




Tardis1893

Hey, We coulda just had QUANTUMZ TELEPORTATION BOXES in COLUMBIA, and ditched all those pathetic/lame-assed looking transportation things they came up with. (Sorry NOT ENOUGH THINKING OUTSIDE OF THE ENVELOPE KENNYBOY ...)

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Circa1887

Around time of the Columbian Exposition THIS is the image people had (if they ever saw it) of what 'Lighter Than Air Craft were. SO Comstock has again tapped into yet ANOTHER universal genius scientist & engineer to bypass decades of effort to actually be able to build something operational ???

(Just one side-issue : Fantasy - of how that sudden ability to MAKE things that don't exist yet seems to happen in this game a bit too much (as in constantly, and illogically, and worse continuing writers-crutch sewage-spill-over into BaSx ... onto a now CONVENIENT "Great Universal Genius" Suchong. BS. )).



So In Summary :

The game's Technical Details were shit (to go along similarly with the same kind of poor/fake/PC 'historic' and 'religion' and 'American' elements in creating this hack game presentation). It all was just a poorly done patched together facade to instill some kind of 'nostalgia view' (a key popular element of the 2 previous BioShock games). I really can't judge which element in Infinite BS was more Fantasy than the others -- all of which made it a poor reflection of the previous games, which at least attempted to be Science Fiction.

Sequel-itus ... ( an attempt to cheaply Cash In on something previously successful, but most often being a poor/flawed/downright-faulty reflection/regurgitation/copy ).

ALL Those High marks from the various game mags : You need to take THAT with a grain of salt when those 'mags' get LOTS of advertising money from Infinite BS's parent game company (possibly explains WHY half the entire budget went to 'Marketing', rather than to better game development). Independent Reviewers (who are NOT required to be commercially biased ass-lickers) had ALOT to say about the real deficiencies of Infinite BS (and its DLC follow-ons).



More Clever Contraptions (Artists Concepts):



WeCouldaHadThis


ThatsAnAirship

So was the game's 3D asset (at the very top) mostly a dumbed-down/simplified object (it now being just incidental to the plot/player experience ??) drawn so crudely to appease a limited 3D Rendering budget (they have to target players with as 'low end' computer/graphics capacity as possible to be able to maximize the $$$) Were Limitations of the "game engine" (third party software) they chose likewise problematic -- limiting it to an unrealistic Hummel Figurine quality detailed asset ???




Zepdin

Zeppelins gave Airplanes a run for their money in the early days, and so significant public interest in both was prevalent. Strange that this restaurant looks more airworthy than those weird-assed things the game designers came up with.




Lakehursthangar1

Lakehurst Air Station and a REAL Lighter-Than-Air Ship. See how the landing area is circular to allow the Dirigible to land into the wind (where it had some control) to then be docked at its Mooring Tower. The Infinite BS game designers somehow thought you could park those 'Quantumz' floaty 'Zeppelins' into their dinky dock like a van pulling up next to a building. Clueless. The Problem with big voluminous things is that the wind blows them every which way, constantly. Walking the streets in Columbia in a storm would be bad enough.

((Sad factoid in game is the earlier/first "First Lady" "Zeppelin", being Hydrogen filled , and burning during a Vox Terrorist attack -- SEEMS to wanna link to Player known incidents like Hindenburg Disaster (BTW shouldn't The Prophet have foreseen the risk ??) Also, I though the Vox weren't violent at first ... (a serious need to cross check story there Kenny). Also A hydrogen filled one would be just like a real Dirigible (real BIG Gas Bag required if 'real') and needing a Aerodrome like this one to actually work. Having "Lady" Comstock climb a ladder to get into a moored dirigible probably wasn't 'ladylike'. Shouldn't they have had Floaty-Shit(tm) vehicles from the very first for Columbia (you would think they would thoroughly test it on SMALL things before a botched installation of a floaty city block fell-from-the-sky somewhere inconvenient and the whole project get canceled when the Lawyers got involved and the politicians abandoned the FUBAR fiasco).




InfiniteBSHand

Custer Fluck of Absurdity - apparently the game designers WERE NOT ABLE to break out of their mental trap. They had Zeppelin on the Brain and floated off into Infinite stupidity. Explained elsewhere is why there was no reason anything that flew in Columbia had to look like a Dirigible, and many reasons why they shouldn't. ((In so many infinite parallel universes, it was done right and logical, but unfortunately OURs was not one of those.))



NEED TO ADD THE BRICK ZEPPELIN (here and link from Humor)

With all my commentaries about building brick flying cities and the weird impractical Dirigible vehicles (when you have FloatyShit(tm) to do something far niftier), I see no reason why they couldn't have built the 'zeppelins' out of Brick and Mortar.



Sovietzeppelinonthebraintoo

Soviet "Zeppelin On The Brain"

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The Soviets seem to also have had Zeppelin on the Brain. This one is ridiculous because there isn't enough volume of that gas stuff which makes it 'Lighter-than-Air' (a rather strict physical law requirement). Instead all that overly heavy stuff is stuffed inside that nice aerodynamic shape ( shape being the thing the Infinte BS artists/designers never figured out as being the main attribute of EVERY DIRIGIBLE ever designed - even with their FloatyShit(tm) magic totally alleviating the need for a gasbag component (and keeping it anyway for some reason),and a need for it to have that overall shape to work properly as a traveling air vehicle. )





Dead infinite

Unfortunately for the Players, things seen in those Promotional Trailers (like this) would have been a much better game (but then you need to realize they couldn't have delivered it anyway. Too much talk, too little production)

This thing looks Pre-Quantumz, with a reasonable looking mechanism --- even though the gasbag part of it is still 12X too small. But then, having realistic 'Zeppelins', they would dwarf much of Columbia, and the gamemakers wanted you to see all those pretty cloud draped vistas.)

The stupid thing is : After they could make hunks of land and brick FLOAT via Quantumz, their vehicles STILL retained that gasbag element, when it obviously was then irrelevant. ((That's what happens when you show too much promotional footage and later can no longer discard the images you started out with after you rewrite the game story/plot the third time.))

Also compare the art/coloring on this pix, and compare with ones (top of page) used in the game. The creepy garish toy look came in which matched all the buildings and various other props of the delivered game.




Blimposphere

Consider that the long-distance vehicles for Infinite BS could have looked MORE like this, retaining the essence of a 'zeppelin' but becoming more modern looking to reflect those 'stolen technologies'. Aerodynamic/streamline like a REAL Zeppelin, not some throwback that was a clunky clumsy mutated mess. If they still wanted the porcelain toy figurine look and those awful optical effects, then gold plate the thing (like those ridiculously huge statues already were). Giant Flying Angels ?? How could they miss that ???




RealDirigible

Just another diagram showing what a REAL dirigible/airship is, and its NOT being like that weird crap the game designers thought they were.

If you no longer need the gasbag, why constrain yourself to still HAVING the gasbag?? At least in old Sci-Fi in the 30s the 'zeppelin' shaped craft used the entire shape for a hull (evidenced by windows all over), indicating THEY understood it was the streamlined SHAPE advantageous to an aircraft (versus Infinite BS who never got past the old mental limitations and were stuck on the pre-quantum-bullshit promotional images ).




IntelligentRetroFuturism

Add a little imagination (and research) and Viola, something that doesn't look instantly idiotic. Seriously wasnt part of the story stealing stuff from the future ???




ZeppyOnnaBrainz

Very sad that they got stuck on that image and had them be so badly done in the game.




Frickenbuildingitsin

Real Zepplins are HUGE. And the buildings they are built in and repaired in are even HUGER!!!




Windsbloweyabout

America built Zeppelins also (NOTE HOW HUGE THE HANGAR IS). As small as the 'zeppelins' were in Infinite BS, their hangars would still have been larger -- IF there were any to be seen. (Realism wasn't the point .... Oh then why all the handwringing over social ills ??? )




Imaginethisarmoredfloatyshit

Real Zeppelins (like other flying craft) were streamlined.




WW1Zeppelin

German WW1 Zeppelin.




Stillnotquite

Zeppelin concepts being applied to Trains (in 30s)




Use-that-volume-dammit

Just 20 years later... Doesnt look like a Zeppelin and BIG enuf to have an ARENA BATTLE in !!!!




HindenburgInterior

Hindenburg's lightweight construction - no quantum bullshit required. What a real floating Columbia could have been built like (sorry no brick buildings). Unfortunately it required hanging under a Balloon the size of the Astro-Dome per city 'block'.




NOZEPPELIN

What these things COULD have looked like with a little real imaginations and less ignorance. Quantumz obviated the need for a gasbag and THE CLUMSY SHAPE AS IF IT STILL USED A GASBAG from flying craft.




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Zeppelins NEED Masts/Hangars to "Moor" At  :

SO one of the problems of those horribly designed things in Infinite BS, even with a much smaller body (no gasbags being needed cuz of that magic FloatyShit(tm) Quantum BS) is that : Wind hits that big broad side and the whole thing wants to travel that direction now, with alot of force in strong wind. Half exposed then it wants to turn and rip itself to shreds on anything it brushes against.

It even was (is) a problem with Ocean Liners (that huge flat side) at dock (wind can push the ship sideways, hence anchors being REALLY important).

Unless this quantumz magic can also control the wind gusts, then what the game shows is unworkable and almost certainly a disaster waiting to happen (you don't have to be filled with flammable hydrogen to be a safety hazard). (( again - Dont Ever Let Artists Design Anything Your Life Depends On ))

Imagine those weird anti-gravity/whatever 'zeppelins', the game artists contrived, swinging wildly into adjacent buildings -- even tearing loose their restraints in gusts/high winds (why do you think there were those HUGE airship hangars with doors that closed in the FRINKEN REAL WORLD ???) and destroying themselves very quickly.

Too bad the game got stuck with those no-longer-logical zeppelins (too many promotionals showing them, too early), and didn't instead leverage the ACTUAL STORY'S Concept to have lots more modern things (all those OTHER things throughout the game supposedly seen/copied/mod'd from the future ...)

Note -- that a 'Mast' is designed to moor the Airship and allows it to swing with the wind direction. More secure stationary mooring requires a huge protective hangar, with HUGE doors that close and keep winds out.

"Half an Idea is the territory of the ignoramus and dim minds" - Blaise Pascal

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Beratement of Stupidity of Infinite BS 'Zeppelins'  :

The quite large ground crew being needed (Real World) to handle these monstrosities(not the flight crew - that took a somewhat smaller but even more well trained crew) -- just to land the thing (and tying them down and servicing them in the enormous facilities they required).

THERE IS ACTUALLY A PARALLEL OF INEFFECTIVENESS/OVERBLOATED IMPRACTICALNESS BETWEEN THESE 'DIRIGIBLES' IN

COLUMBIA WITH THE BATHYSPHERES IN RAPTURE ( The Aussie Devs at least made THOSE AE Trains in BS2 )

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